This article was sent to us by Emma H., a college freshman stationed in Nashville, Tennessee. Do you have a story to share with your fellow military teens? Visit our writing page to find out how you can submit to Bloom!
In my 19 years of life, I’ve lived in 10 different states, been homeschooled for 6 years, and attended 8 different schools. I’ve traveled overseas both with my parents and by myself. Yet wherever I go, I’m astounded by how I seem to find someone that I know.
Growing up in a military family, a saying that I commonly heard was, “The military world is a small place.” No matter where we lived or where we were traveling, my family knew someone. After my dad retired and we moved to Missouri, I found that knowing people all over the world wasn’t as common as I thought. The families of most of the people I knew in Missouri lived a maximum of 3-4 hours away. This was shocking to me - my closest biological family was a 5-hour drive away.
I’ve also learned that my view of family is different from others.
To me, the term “family” means so much more than just blood relationships. Family includes my parents, my extended biological family, my dog, my best friend and her family, my mom’s close friends from California, my dad’s best friends from college, one neighbor from when we lived in Colorado, a family whose son I babysat for a year, and so many others. These people have all supported me and shown up for me in ways that nobody else has.
I met my best friend, Kadie, when I was 12, and I knew that we would be friends for life. When my mom’s father passed away four days before my 13th birthday, Kadie and her mom came over late that night, hugged me, prayed for me, and gave me an early birthday present, letting me know that I was loved and not alone in my grief. Kadie’s mom, Audrey, is my second mom, someone who cares for me and my well-being as if I am one of her children.
My mom’s close friend group from California is called “The Flock.” It’s a group of seven or eight women who all lived on the same street as us. We knew one mom, Kelly, from when we had lived in Alabama years prior. I got to watch her son, Thomas, grow from a two-year-old in Alabama to an almost nine-year-old who now lives in Virginia. Kelly is someone who asks me hard questions, listens to me, makes me feel valued, and helps me work through tough conversations.
Greg, one of my dad’s friends from college, taught me that it’s okay to pursue your many passions and hobbies. He also inspired me to learn more about my family heritage.
My dad keeps in touch with a work colleague from Colorado, named Brian. He was someone who hung out with me and cared for me when my parents got awful food poisoning while in Germany.
Audrey H., a friend of both mine and my mom from Alabama, helped me learn to manage my ADHD and Dyslexia. She also taught me different life skills, like how to stand up for myself in uncomfortable situations and how to interact with others in a business setting.
Through these people, I have learned so much about myself. They have all impacted how I interact with the world, showing up for me and my family in ways that my biological family didn’t and couldn’t.
The principle of “it takes a village” is very true. My village wasn’t family - they were friends who became my family. My village invited me to their family gatherings because we were also family to them. My village supported me through my many moves and complicated high school career. My village showed up for my graduation when my biological extended family didn’t. My village cries with me, celebrates with me, mourns with me, and walks with me through all different areas of my life.
I found my village through different military families who understood what I was going through. My parents’ village helped me create my own village, which I am continuing to expand. I hope that my village never stops growing and I hope that my future children will make villages of their own.
I love my biological family, but I wouldn’t trade my village for anyone else.
❤